Pair’d Not Match’d

Of wedded bliss
Bards sing amiss,
I cannot make a song of it
For I am small,
My wife is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it.

When we debate
It is your fate
To always have the wrong of it;
For you are small,
And I am tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

She has, in brief,
Command in Chief,
And I’m but Aide-de-camp of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

I’ll sometimes grip
Your buggy whip,
And make you feel the thong of it!
For you are small,
And I am tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

I sometimes think
I’ll take to drink,
And hector when I’m strong of it;
For I am small,
And she is tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!

O, if the bell
Would ring me knell,
You’d make a gay ding-dong of it;
For you are small,
And I am tall,
And that’s the short and long of it!